Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
