i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
