You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
