I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
