ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
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