Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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