I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
