Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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