Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
