i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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