I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
