He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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