he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Do vagina's smell?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
