Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i drank out of a bidet.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
