so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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