dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
