I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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