8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Who died my cat blue again?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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