We're like a lot better than the average bears
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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