she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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