So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
