I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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