This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it hurts more in the daytime
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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