Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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