Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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