That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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