Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
