people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
