Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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