I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
