Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
