I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
