So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
