On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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