It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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