to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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