If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
