No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
