We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
