You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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