there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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