So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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