Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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