Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
