My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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