sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
