My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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