My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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