Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
