you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
