Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
